The Second House in Love

The second house, ruled by Venus, is where we define ourselves, where we seek to build up our material identity and values.   Planets here show how and what we seek to feel secure, what we need to be stable and enduring.  Although this is often a material need, there are other possibilities represented by the sign and the planets--we each seek security in different ways.  The development of our capabilities and self-worth also falls in this house.  In relationship, the planets and signs in the second house show how safe, or insecure, two people feel together.

The Third House in Love

The third house, ruled by Mercury, is where we keep in touch with the earthly plane, with 'reality' as it is perceived by the human mind.  This house is where we interact with our immediate environment through the five physical senses--sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell--and also where we form our opinions and attitudes about life, including knowledge and rational thought.  In the third house, we are concerned with our relationships, and planets here can denote relationships with siblings;  these early relationships with our siblings can teach us behaviors that can have long lasting effects on our future love relationships.  In the relationship chart, the third house shows how each person can integrate with the other.  It shows the early learning patterns of the individuals and if they can understand each other well on a basic level.  This house denotes sexual thoughts and the expression of these thoughts in partnership through communication in all of its forms.

The Fourth House in Love

In the fourth house, ruled by the Moon, we are home--our center, our place where we retreat from the external and go deep inside our true beings.  This is the house of the soul, of our origins--not only of our childhood family, but of our ethnic ancestry.  This house, where we integrate experience from outside within, plays a great role in relationships.  Instincts developed in childhood are hard to change, always considering that change is needed, and can reflect on our relationships in adulthood.  Not only does this house show our beginnings, but also our endings, which can have dramatic effects on relationship.  If we do not reach down deep inside of ourselves and dredge up the issues of the fourth house, we will continue to repeat patterns in relationship.  Our sexual history often reflects expectations we learned in childhood through watching our parents interact.  We will continue looking for another person to make us feel safe instead of looking within and realizing that no one can make us feel safe except ourselves.  Planets in this house in the relationship chart will show how two people's upbringing mesh or conflict and if the individuals will feel comfortable enough to make their relationship a lasting one--to establish their own home environment together, including having children of their own. 

The Fifth House in Love

The fifth house, ruled by the Sun, is all about individuality; how we make ourselves feel special and not just one of the herd.  Planets in the fifth house show how much attention we need and how we go about getting it.  This house is also about creativity, romance, style, and the ability to produce--be it children or a work of art.  Leisure activities that bring us joy are denoted by placements in the 5th house.  This is the house of romance, and in relationship, the fifth house shows what we want in a love affair, what we hope to accomplish through the relationship that enhances our sense of being special, or set apart.  Through the action of this house, we can learn to love ourselves and this is very important because we cannot love another if we do not love ourselves.  In the relationship chart, the planets and aspects show whether or not the two individuals can form a creative union where their ideals of love work harmoniously together, where each person finds his or her own self-expression reflected in the eyes of the other.

The Sixth House in Love

The sixth house, ruled by Mercury, is the house of service, obligation, health, and working conditions.  It is in this house where we seek order, where we try to understand life and how we fit in it.  This is the body/mind connection and the way we balance it internally and externally.  In relationships, how we balance our own needs with the obligation and responsibility we feel for the other person has a direct bearing on harmony in the connection and a fulfilling sex life together.  Guilt is a function of the sixth house--when we feel we should behave differently from our inherent nature and live up to societal expectations, we feel guilt.  When we learn to balance the outside with the inside, we will no longer feel guilt and will be able to enjoy our relationships on a more pure ground--one where we can be that which we are.  In the relationship chart, the planets and aspects in the sixth will show whether there will be enough sense of obligation to hold the two people together, but not such a sense of obligation that it becomes overwhelming and stifling.

The Seventh House in Love

The seventh house cusp is an important point in the chart, the Descendant, which opposes our self-awareness of the first house.  This point is how we see others, what we want in an important, committed relationship from our partner, and,  particularly, how we approach relationships.  The seventh house is ruled by Venus in the sign of Libra and any sign, planet, or aspect will take on the need for harmony and balance.  We usually seek in a partner that which we need to develop in the self, and this is where the scales come in.  Through 'rubbing off' on each other, both partners gain in the relationship--of course, this is if the Descendents of the partners, or aspects to a planet in the seventh house, aren't in major conflict.  This house is sometimes called a 'hidden' house--a hidden part of our personality which we must learn to embrace, whether this hidden part is good or bad. Because we draw to ourselves experiences to help in our evolution, that need is often reflected in the seventh house.  Through relationship we learn to become more whole.

The Eighth House in Love

The eighth house, ruled by Pluto, is about sharing values.  In relationship, this is the house that shows the merging of two people and their values into one.  This house is about partnerships in all forms--business, familial, and sexual.  Often we hear this house being spoke of as other people's money, sex, death, and transformation.  In relationship, this is where many changes take place as subconscious issues from the past are brought out into the light through interacting closely with another individual.  The planets, the signs, and the aspects to this house in the partnership chart will help show how difficult or easy the merging of two people from the state of "I" into the state of "We" will be.

The Ninth House in Love

The ninth house, ruled by Jupiter, is the house of religion, philosophy, foreign travel, interest in other cultures and ways which are foreign to us.  It is the 'higher mind' and 'higher education'; the collective ideas of society are represented here--our legal systems, educational structure, religion, the body of law.  In relationships, the ninth house is where our true sexual and intellectual philosophies emerge.  If the ninth house is emphasized in a relationship chart, it may be easier for the couple to communicate sexually rather than intellectually--this is because the ninth house is very intuitive and sexual communication is the height of intuitive contact between two people.  Words just won't be able to express the feelings as well as sex.   If the two people involved in the relationship have conflicting 'higher mind' ideals, then this obviously won't be true.  If there are important planets here yet the couple are on different levels of spiritual/philosophical development, the growth of one partner will be the focus of the relationship.  The more developed mind will attempt to teach the other spiritual and philosophical beliefs--this may lead to much trouble if the lower mind isn't ready for such development.

The Tenth House in Love

The tenth house cusp is called the Midheaven, the most elevated point in the chart. The Midheaven is how we make ourselves visible in the world, how we present ourselves, how we want to be seen and respected.  It is our status in the world, our career, and our ambition.  The tenth house is ruled by Saturn, and is symbolic of the more dominating parent, whether this may be the mother, father, or other guiding adult in a child's life.  Here in the tenth house, we must overcome past any psychological problems stemming from childhood and stand on our own and prove ourselves to the world.  In relationship, the tenth house will represent how compatible two individual's career goals are and whether or not they will respect each others status in the world.  Conflicts to the Midheaven can be quite stressful in relationship, where harmonious aspects will smooth the way for both people.  If career is more important to one person in a relationship and the home life is more important to the other, there will obviously be issues that need to be worked on together.

The Eleventh House in Love

The eleventh house is the house of dreams, hopes, and wishes.  It is ruled by Uranus.  This house is also about friendships, groups, ideologies, and social consciousness.  Planets in this house often give intense intuition linked to the universal consciousness.  The eleventh house is the place where we can step back from our personal commitments and focus our creativity and energy at a higher, more detached level.  In relationship, the eleventh house represents love for mankind and emphasis on this house in a personal relationship denotes that the couple are highly idealistic and perhaps revolutionary in their thoughts.  As long as the aspects and planets work well together here, the couple will understand the others need to be involved in society.  If there are conflicts, one person may feel a lack of commitment on the other's part.

The Twelfth House in Love

The twelfth house, ruled by Neptune, is where we confront our entire self--our conscious and subconscious.  In this house, we can learn to understand the message of our soul.  If we do not understand and bring our subconscious to the light, we will not be able to evolve.  This 'knowing' and understanding of ourselves prepares us for the dissolution of our ego, which must take place if we are to merge with the whole of the universal.  Because the giving up of the self is so frightening, this house is associated with institutions, including mental hospitals and prisons, phobias, and other unsavory issues--this is because some people look for an escape from themselves, thus turning to crime or even becoming insane.  This house also deals with behind the scenes activity--this could range from cult activity, to people out to ruin us, to the inner demons within our own souls. If the twelfth house is emphasized in a partnership chart, there could be issues of illusion involved--where the partners just cannot see one another clearly--or stress related to psychological dependency on each other, alcohol, or drugs.  If the aspects and planets are harmonious, there can be enormous spiritual awakening in the individuals as well as the expression of great creativity.  Together they can work toward self-transcendence in order to reconnect with the divine.

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Astrological Houses in Love & Relationships

by Dena L Moore, Intuitive Evolutionary Astrologer

The First House in Love

The first house, which is ruled by Mars, is how we seek our own individuality.  It is how others see us, the side we present to the world--our unique face.  It is also how we perceive life, and in relationship, our perceptions are everything.  The 1st house is the house of the Ascendant, which will be covered in more detail separately.  This house is one of the karmic houses and is given great weight in any type of chart reading.  Any planet in this house is strong, especially if it is in contact with the Ascendant.  This is true in the nativity and in the partnership chart. 

Love has its reason, which reason knows nothing of...

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