Dangerous Love: Do we choose love or does love choose us? Kamic Love Relationships

We do choose love, and yet...it also chooses us. We can choose whether or not to love, and whether or not to open ourselves to the experience of love. All of us are wounded in some manner or another--if only I could say that all of us understand this. Those who do understand are working on healing at all times, and there is no greater healing force than that of love. So those who are evolving, those who are clearing karma, and those who want to proceed on a spiritual path do open themselves to the power of love. Unconditional Love. This is a phrase that is often misunderstood, just as love is misunderstood. We can be in lust, infatuation, searching for security, and whatnot, but this is not love. Love is allowing each individual to follow their own path and supporting them on their path. It is forgiving each other for mistakes and allowing for errors within the relationship itself. It is also making a pact within ourselves to be who we are and to take care of ourselves first, for if we are not able to care for and love ourself, we cannot care for or love another. It is knowing when to draw the line and what to accept regarding the behavior of others. Knowing what you want as an individual will pull others into your life to love and will allow you to receive love in return.

There are many different types of love, and many different people we will love, or learn to love, in our lives here on Earth. What one person calls 'love' may be mere friendship to another. There are many variations, just as there are different beliefs regarding monogamy, etc. There are 'safe' loves, and 'dangerous' loves (I do not mean violent or abusive relationships, but rather relationships that cause great internal fear). The safe loves are easy to manage and allow a person to work freely and go about their business. The dangerous loves are consuming and passionate, yet frightening. The dangerous loves are often relationships with heavy karma. Avoiding these relationships is akin to avoiding life itself. To confront the 'danger' takes a very evolved soul--often I see one soul who is ready to deal with the karma and rekindle the relationship yet the other soul is not ready. It may appear that I am being sexist when I say that it is often the male who is not ready, and I am sorry for this, because I am absolutely not...in my practice, this is what I have seen over and over. I believe it is harder for the male due to societal restrictions on the instinctual emotional part of the soul. However, this dangerous love can also occur between two people of the same sex, and this can be even more difficult because both partners cannot understand it, particularly if they consider themselves to be heterosexual. If a person finds this passionate love in the current life but runs from it, he or she is running from their own personal evolution. We will learn the most from our dangerous relationships. This is why I say that love chooses us, yet we also choose it. When that special (yet dangerous) love comes upon us and we indulge in it for a brief time and then choose to escape because the fear is too strong, then we are choosing to turn our back on love. And this leads me to the second part of the question, for if we avoid love and strangle it within our hearts and souls, not allowing it to blossom and grow, then we will face the same person/soul again in the future under a similar situation.

Love will not go away. Once you have felt love, true love, with a soul, you will always seek that soul out (if not physically, then in the mind through dreams or daydreams)be it in this life, between lives, or in the next. So much depends on the relationship's purpose, for all relationships have one. There is no set astrological time limit on relationships or on love. However, though this may seem contradictory, relationships can and do end once the lesson inherent in the relationship is learned--to force ourselves to stay within a relationship that is 'over' is just as harmful as running away from love. We make agreements between lives to accomplish a certain degree of self-evolution, and these agreements are often made with those we love. Once you have completed that journey, spiritually speaking, you need to move on to the next and whoever you made the next agreement with. Say, for example, you are married yet both of you know that the spark is gone (the agreement has been fulfilled at this point) but you remain in the relationship. You don't hate each other, but you just don't 'love' each other either (at least not passionately). What is keeping you both in the relationship? Your children? Financial situation? Societal values? These are all important aspects of life and you will need to decide what is best for your soul's growth. Staying for the children may seem honorable, yet what are you teaching the children? It can be looked at in many different ways--are you teaching self-sacrifice and love for your children, or are you teaching that there is no happiness in life and that Mother or Father doesn't deserve to be happy? This can eventually undermine not only your own self-esteem, but the children's as well.

Another aspect to consider is the importance of the person in your life and your soul's quest. If you have spent many lives with another person, both positively and negatively, you will feel familiar with that soul. So we have many different types of love in our lives and many souls we know and remember on some level. A passionate, dangerous love develops when two souls love each other and have for centuries. There is usually some tragedy that occurred in a past life that severed the relationship in a very unusual or painful manner--often one of the partners died a dramatic death. In subsequent lives, the two souls avoid each other (choosing not to incarnate at the same time, or one soul simply refuses to come back to this plane for a very long time), thus setting up a karmic tug of war between them. They want to be together, long to be together, yet the pain is powerfully strong and often guilt is a major issue that keeps them apart. Buried past life memories invade the subconscious when the two souls are together and makes one or both partners feel as if they will die if they stay in the relationship or die if they stay out of it--the ego feels it is safer to sever the ties that bind rather than work through it. Anger can become a factor of this, as repressed fear often escapes in such a manner. These relationships and how a person handles them are very important turning points in a person's life--for one thing, you will not be confronted with this type of relationship if you are not ready to heal and move beyond this point in your past. Then again, it is possible that not all souls have experienced a love circumstance like this, but nearly all of us have at one stage in our development.

This question was posed in my Love Forum, and I felt that it was such a good question it deserved to have it's own permanent page. Many thank yous to the questioner!